May72012

Rant: Fastmovers

Bangkok; Nobody pulls to the side for an ambulance to pass, the ambulance is slow too.
Bangkok; No stop signs anywhere, because you’re already stopped in traffic
Bangkok; A city with no speed limits, because you’re already moving at pedestrian pace


You know how I know Mrs. Kelly, my kindergarten teacher, was full of shit? Because Thailand doesn’t rule the world… let’s go back… See, Mrs. Kelly read us the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. You know the one. Slow and steady somehow, counter-intuitively, wins the race. Yeah, well, if that were a universal truth then Thailand would be a beacon of modernity. They’d rule the planet with unquestionable social, economic and technological superiority. Cuz these MFs are slow.

Shame on you, Mrs. Kelly.

It’s all relative, I’ll give ya that. But damn. To me, everything seems to crawl along in this place. It’s physically impossible for me to walk at the pace of Bangkok foot traffic. Can’t do it. I try to control my breathing, get zen, harness my chi. All that. But I just cannot walk as slowly as these cats. Nobody’s ever in a hurry to get anywhere, ever. That goes triple-time for the gym: Standing on an escalator- inside the gym? Really?

Please, Bangkokians, I love you. I love your city. I love your weather, your language and your food. But for the sake of your friendly farang neighbor, please, get-out-of-the-goddam-way.

[end rant]

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